Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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