Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
