Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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