I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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