Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
