he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
