Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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