She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
