Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
