I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Shame - the story of my life.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
