I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
