i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
