He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
