i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
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