actually, I'm a sock model
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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