shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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