Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
