yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Congratulations! We have a period
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