matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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