dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
