every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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