Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize