i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
