This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
