Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I'm just crazy horny about you
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
