So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Alive.
So much puke
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
