FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize