Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
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