i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
this is an emotional support booty call
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