too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
