i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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