Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I lost the right to judge tonight
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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