yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
