i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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