Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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