Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Bang-toberfest begins!!
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
