Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
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