With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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