So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I'm passing your future prison.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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