It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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