Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Randomize
