After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Randomize
