And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
