But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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