Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
