Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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