Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
only you would photoshop your dick
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
