what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
