It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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