Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
