her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
