So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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