Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
