Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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