she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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