call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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