Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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