I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
