ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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