Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
She announced her abortion via fbk
where does the pee come out of this thing
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
