yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
