I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
