He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
is this the sara with the beer cane?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
