he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
We were destined to go to rehab together
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Randomize