omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
She's the barista slut.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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